Abuse via coercion involves deception, intimidation, and isolation. Your safety depends on recognizing the symptoms and understanding how to escape. Here are six coercive control indications and ways to escape:
1. Constant Monitoring
The abuser keeps too close an eye on your activities, whereabouts, and conversations, which is an invasion of your privacy and liberty.
2. Isolation from Support Systems
They cut you off from family, friends, and other support systems, leaving you reliant on them alone for approval and company.
3. Emotional Manipulation
They control your thoughts, feelings, and actions by making you feel guilty and emotionally blackmailed. This lowers your self-esteem.
4. Threats and Intimidation
They use violence, threats, or other forms of bullying to keep you scared and under their control.
5. Financial Control
They manage your money, make all the choices about it, and limit your access to it. This makes you financially dependent and helpless.
6. Gaslighting and Denial
They lie about how cruel they are, twist reality, and gaslight you into doubting what you see, feel, and remember.
1. Recognize the Abuse
Realize that you are in a violent relationship and that controlling someone by force is wrong and not okay.
To break free from coercive control
2. Reach Out for Support
Tell friends, family, or professionals you trust who can help you with support, advice, and tools.
3. Safety Planning
Make a safety plan with steps to keep yourself safe, like writing down proof, keeping your money safe, and finding safe places to go.
4. Seek Professional Help
Talk to a therapist, counselor, or domestic abuse advocate. They can give you support and help that is specific to your needs.
5. Take Legal Action if Necessary
You might want to get a protection order, file for divorce or split, or talk to a lawyer about child custody and money issues.
6. Establish Boundaries
Make it clear to the attacker what your limits are, put your safety and well-being first, and do things for yourself that will help you heal and feel strong.